Washing Machine

You are not my friend. 

You are broken.

You Sell yourself for money.

You steal my money.

People use you as they please.

You have no self respect. 

You decide how long to take regardless of my time. 

You are loud and obnoxious. 

People steal you from me and then you laugh.

You have sold your soul to the dryer to:

Take as long as possible

only half work

maintain a constant batch of clothes when i need to borrow your time

take turns working and breaking

setting me on fire. 

ok so the last one i made up but i pretty much want to constantly set you on fire. 

so..

Dear Washing Machine, 

You're fired, i'm going to a laundry mat. sure it is more expensive and potentially dangerous. But they work, my clothes get clean. and i do it all much faster. thank you for your time. but you need to go. 

sincerely, 

your friendly CFNI student. :) 

P.S. I wouldn't put me down for a reference. You wouldn't like the results.